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Why Am I Here? August 27, 2007

Posted by reddlissa in Uncategorized.
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 Lisa’s Chaos is hosting Fun Monday this week. The challenge:

I’d like to know more about you, what makes you tick. I’d like to know how you started blogging. Did you keep a diary under lock and key safely hidden as a child? Do you still? Do you share the same things on your blog that you would have, or do, in your diary? Why did you start blogging and why do you continue? May as well throw in any roadblocks you have run into while blogging. If you still have your old diaries we’d love to see them.

My first diary was red, had Snoopy on the front, and was ALWAYS locked (little brother had prying eyes).  I wrote every minute detail of my 6th grade life in that journal.  What sticks out the most were the entries in which I professed my undying love for Jordan Knight of  New Kids on the Block (yikes!) and I lamented the fact that I had not started my period and therefore could not participate in the lunch conversations my friends were having.  Those were the days!

I continued to journal throughout high school (thanks in part to my English teacher Toby) and for my first 2 years at Northeast Louisiana University.  As one might expect, those old entries are a convoluted road map of my up-and-down journey through the insane life of a teenager.  One day I hated my parents, my school, my friends, hell my life in general, and the next I was flying high and loving everyone and everything.  Reading those old journals is a riot 🙂

Then came Sarah.  After my daughter was born, I simply stopped devoting time to writing.  With work, school, and raising a kid, I was too worn out by the end of day to spend 30 mintues in thoughtful reflction.  From time to time, I would grab a notbook and scribble out a 3-page entry, usually in anger or disgust at the turn my life had taken and almost always about men (sorry Joe!). 

When I started teaching high school English I incorporated journal time into my daily class routine.  I constantly preached to my students, “The only way to be a good writer is to practice.  You have to write every day  if you want to be ready for college level writing classes!”  Then one day it hit me, I’m not practicing what I preach.  I harp on the kids and ride them all the time about daily writing and yet I can’t remember the last time I took the time to journal.

About this same time, my best bud MerrieB mentioned that she had started blogging.  I checked out her site and was impressed with what she had put together.  I kept up with her site, along with a few other friends’ in our circle, but was too nervous to try a blog of my own.  You see, I hang out with a bunch of computer nerds who know the ins and outs of computers better than I ever could.  I assumed if they were all blogging, it must be something incredibly high-tech and therefore out of my league.  Fortunately MerrieB steered me in the right direction and helped me get my blog up and running 🙂

I’m not sure how I feel about how this blogging thing turned out in the end.  I’m glad that I am writing more but I’m generally not pleased with what I write.  I feel as though I should be cranking out posts that are a better reflection of how an English teacher should write.  In fact, I don’t share this site with my friends at school or my colleagues; I don’t want them to read any of this because I’m afraid it isn’t up to standard.  I’m always worried my posts are either too sketchy and lacking in details (bad) or sound too much like a formal essay (even worse).  Sometimes I become frustrated at the amount of time I spend on one entry; I have to write, revise, proofread, revise again, and then publish.  I also feel as though I hold back many aspects and events of my daily life.  I try to keep things light and carefree, no serious stuff here.  I don’t want to come across as over-emotional or over-personal.  There are days when I long to unburden myself in a page-long post yet I hold back and generally choose to write nothing at all.

With the start of a new school year and soon a new phase of my “adult life”, I’ve decided I’m going to go back to the old days and become a more honest journal writer.  I don’t know if I’ll transfer everything into the blog, but I’m going to push myself to be more open and expressive and not so caught up in the craft of what I write.

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Comments»

1. Willowtree - August 27, 2007

Welcome to Fun Monday.

How come there’s no comments here? Have you been blacklisted by the Fun Monday people or something?

Just a comment about not being up to standard. Given that you’re an English teacher, making sure this was grammatically correct and well written would be a bit like a busman’s holiday. This should be somewhere that you don’t have to worry about that crap. Besides, there’s enough of us here to point out your mistakes, so you needn’t worry.

2. jill - August 27, 2007

damn those Snoopy diaries! mine was teal but it wouldnt stay locked! you could just push on the outside and well let’s just say i had a few secrets revealed i didnt care to reveal at the time. now i’d say who gives a crap, i was just a kid!

3. Robocop - August 27, 2007

No one is pleased with anything they write, but too keep on writing despite of those feelings denotes a strong person.

4. mjd - August 27, 2007

Oh, a red Snoopy diary…how sweet. In reference to Willowtree’s comment, I know why there are no comments. Either WordPress is malfunctioning, or we are afraid to write something that will be read by an English teacher.

Is this your first Fun Monday post? The Fun Monday folks seem to be caring and not overly critical. Welcome to Fun Monday

5. reddlissa - August 28, 2007

Yes, this is my first Fun Monday post and thanks so much for the welcome!

As for comments being critiqued by my English teacher alter-ego, no worries there — I’m so giddy that people are actually reading and responing to this blog that I won’t stop the cartwheels long enough to check for dangling participles or comma splices 🙂

6. chrisb - August 28, 2007

Hi
When I visited yesterday there wasn’t a post up so that’s why I’m back today. Why worry about standards in English we don’t judge we just enjoy (on second thoughts willowtree might just correct your grammar but we don’t let a little thing like that bother us it all adds to the fun) 🙂

7. pamela - August 28, 2007

I’m commenting late … I usually post for fun monday but had other things going on.

I, too, would love to be able to write everyday and see the improvement each week.

I should have started writing 40 years ago

8. Frank Spencer - August 30, 2007

Just getting around to all the Fun Monday posts, welcome. I feel my posts have lacked quality lately but then I think it’s my blog so I can write what I want and noone has to read it. I don’t think you should agonise too much over your posts and just go with your heart.

9. beccy - August 30, 2007

Oooop that Frank Spencer is actually me, a joke with another blogger and I forgot to change the details!


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