Time for a Change

Standing among thousands of screaming Papa Roach fans, I came to a startling realization –  I’m over him.  We will always be friends and he will always be a part of my life, but I no longer have a desire to rekindle a romantic relationship.  After a year I suppose many people would say this realization was a long time coming…they would be right.  Since the day he left I have searched for my place in a world without him; many times I felt secure on my own but at other times I floundered.  The past 2 months have been especially difficult as I have struggled to face the fact that while I still harbored non-platonic feelings he did not.  My hyper-romantic tendencies and overactive imagination spun many tales in which he came to his senses, realized he couldn’t live without me, and begged me on bended knee to take him back.  Living in this fantasy world was painful and unhealthy, but I never could seem to break free.  So what changed?  I have no idea.  I admit that I prayed for God to release me from this struggle and perhaps He chose last night to wipe that slate clean.  Perhaps spending social time with him reminded me of the some of the reasons why we didn’t work out in the first place.  Perhaps my eagerness for the future has pushed aside my longing for the past.  Perhaps it was simply time.  Whatever precipitated this change I am glad it has finally happened.